ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
