My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
