a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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