My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
