I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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