They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
