no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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