You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You left your phone here
Wait...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
