If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
