Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm just crazy horny about you
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
