my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
