Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
