the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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