Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
