At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
