I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
