so let's talk penis.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
