so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
