I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
