first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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