Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The power of my boobs compel you
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
