I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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