just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
