He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We have started to decorate penises.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
