The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We're too hungover to prance.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
