That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
