the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
