Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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