I'm drive I can fine osifer
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize