RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
