glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
