I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
