So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
