remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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