I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
