Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
