She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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