i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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