I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
