You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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