you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
even my farts smell like vagina
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
