Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
