I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
