We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Let's paint friendship bongs
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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