i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You were trust falling into bushes
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
