Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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