so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Floor bacon is actually really good
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
