shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize