This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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