the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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